When Slowing Down Shows How Tired You Really Are

For years, my life was very full. I was a wife, a mom, a missionary, an administrator, a homemaker, a taxi driver—and a homeschool mom.

Like so many women, I became accustomed to carrying a lot of different roles at the same time. There was always someone who needed something, somewhere I needed to be, or something that needed to get done.

And I kept going.

Then, in 2016, something changed.

My youngest child began attending a local expat school, and after years of homeschooling, that season of my life came to an end.

Suddenly, one of the biggest responsibilities I had been carrying was gone. You might think I immediately felt wonderfully rested and free.

Instead, slowing down revealed something I hadn't fully recognized while I was so busy:

I was depleted.

When Busy Hides Tired

Sometimes we don't realize how exhausted we are while we're in the middle of doing all the things.

We just keep moving.

We take care of the people we love. We fulfill our responsibilities. We serve. We work. We show up.

And sometimes we're so focused on what needs to happen next that we don't stop long enough to notice what is happening inside of us.

Around that same time, I was involved in member-care and counseling training—learning more about helping other people care for themselves well. There was a bit of irony in that.

I was learning how to help other people recognize their needs while beginning to realize how poorly I had been recognizing some of my own.

I Knew How to Extend Grace

My phrase for that year had been:

Extend Grace.

I wanted to be a woman who gave grace freely.

Grace when someone disappointed me.

Grace when things didn't go as planned.

Grace when another person was struggling.

Grace when someone needed another chance.

Those are good things.

But somewhere along the way, God began showing me another side of grace.

Maybe I wasn't only supposed to extend it.

Maybe I needed to receive it too.

Embrace His Grace

Those words became important to me:

Embrace His Grace.

I didn't have to prove my worth by how much I accomplished.

I didn't have to keep pushing simply because I was capable of pushing.

I didn't have to feel guilty because I needed rest.

And I didn't need to have everything figured out immediately just because one season of my life had ended.

God's grace wasn't only something He wanted to pour through me for everyone else.

His grace was for me, too.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” — 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)

Maybe You're in a Season Like That

Perhaps something in your life has changed.

Maybe the children don't need you in quite the same way anymore.

Maybe you're approaching retirement or wondering what comes next.

Maybe a ministry, job, relationship, or responsibility that occupied a huge part of your life has changed.

Or maybe nothing has ended at all.

Maybe you're simply tired.

Sometimes slowing down exposes things that busyness allowed us to ignore.

That doesn't necessarily mean we need to hurry up and fill the empty space again.

Maybe the invitation is to stay there for a little while.

To notice.

To listen.

To rest.

To let God meet us there.

And to receive the same grace we've been so willing to offer everyone else.

I'm still learning this.

I suspect I always will be.

But I know this much:

God's grace isn't only something we're called to extend. It's something we're invited to receive.

A Pearl to Ponder

You don't have to earn the grace God is already offering you.

Is there an area of your life where you've been extending grace to everyone except yourself?

Maybe today is a good day to receive some, too.